Steotch Fine Needleart has been designing and selling cross stitch patterns online since 2010, as one of the internet’s original ironic craftster blogs. Steotch was regularly featured as a favorite Etsy seller on (now defunct) Regretsy, as well as winning favorable reviews across much of the meme-industrial complex, including links from Mashable, WIRED, the Huffington Post, Buzzfeed, and others. This, younglings, was before the Rise of the Million Etsy Cross Stitch shops.  The original Etsy storefront is still going strong, with new patterns appearing from time to time.

1. The community: the size of the Steotchalong often makes it possible to find other participants in your area, so you can meet up, share drinks, and cross stitch together.

2. The teams: Some Steotchalong teams are geographically based, but others are virtual teams that have people from all over, organized around common interests. There are even teams for introverts and people who don’t like teams.

3. The rich heritage: there’s only one Steotchalong, but each year new members can rely on advice and support from other stitchers who have been going at it for years. Each year there are more in-jokes and memes that make more sense the longer you’ve been involved.

4. The mystery: trying to puzzle together the patterns – and then once the subject makes itself clear, to figure out how Steotch will play with it – makes the experience engaging and fun.

5. The humor: Every week’s patterns, clues and blog posts are crammed full of jokes and memes that bring out other funny people. It’s a good, inebriated time. You’ll laugh.

6. The price: Since day one, Steotchalong has been strictly a pay-what-you-want event. Steotch posts links for different price options each week, and you are free to pay as often or as much as feels appropriate to you. Some folks can’t pay, some can contribute a little more, and it seems to work out okay.

We don’t really do official registrations for individuals - just join the Discord and you’re in. If you want to be in the running for the championship, you’ll have to join a team.

Pay what you want. When the patterns are released, they will include a few payment links that you can use. You can also support us by picking up Steotchalong merch - we usually sell T-shirts, stickers and stuff, so keep an eye out.

Yeaaaah, you will.  It’ll be fine.

This pricing and payment model precludes us from being able to administer refunds. In addition to the patterns, your contribution helps support an event that builds up the entire online cross stitch community.

No, you don’t have to do anything. You don’t have to finish the project, you don’t even have to pay anything. You can just download the patterns and chuckle along. But – the more you engage, the more people you meet, the more you flex your creativity, the more fun you will have.

Depends on you and your kids. The content of the Discord, and perhaps the patterns themselves, would likely win an R rating – but probably not NC-17. Although one year we did throw in Dick Butt.  So there’s always a chance of genitalia or genitalia-adjacent subject matter.

No. Steotchalong patterns are only available during the event. We have occasionally offered “Amnesty” days where the patterns have been made available again for brief periods. Sign up for our email list to get notified of future Amnesty events.